Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Guilty Pleasures - All by Myself

So what’s my Guilty Pleasure, well I almost feel guilty about admitting this but before I admit to anything, I need to give background. 

My day normally starts around 7 am where I battle for the remaining hot warm water that’s left for my shower. (This after two teenage boys have showered so long that the wallpaper has peeled off and the hanging pictures have crinkled behind their protective glass frames) (Who incidentally had a showered the night before but they are now worried that their hair needs to be Brad Pitt perfect for their scores of fans)

I then venture downstairs where my youngest son (who is not involved with the shower fiasco because I can’t get him into the shower) is groaning because the only lunch treats left are fibre bars and how come there are no Dunkaroo’s left? (uhm that’s because he ate them all and not saved them for his lunch) 

As I dart for my coffee maker searching the elixir of life, I begin to lose my voice as I yell upstairs various comments like “they’re hanging in your closet” “try the bottom drawer” or “you never told me you were out of deodorant so how was I supposed to know to buy some?” 

Let’s jump ahead to near end of my work day where my blackberry starts to fill up with various texts of “what’s for supper?”, “Can you bring home XX” or the famous “can I have a banana?” (After a recent diatribe that how when I buy stuff my kids turn into bushmen and eat everything the moment it hits the shelves.) 

So a wee bit further in the evening. All I want to do is chill on my laptop or perhaps read a book but no, I switch hats and become a Taxi driver. Games, practices, friend’s houses; this is how my early evening is spent. I seem to remember being young and my mom giving me the speech…”I used to walk to 10 miles to school in the winter time, in my pyjamas, uphill!” and there have been times where I almost reached for that story (and of course now I fully understand why it was given to me.)  

Okay so you finally ready for my Guilty Pleasure? I love to be alone.  I love my kids and husband with all my heart but I love love love to be alone. The rare time I am alone I do devious things like:

I blast ABBA.

I put an empty Coke bottle back in the fridge because it just feels wonderful to get away with it.

I take out my hidden stash of special cookies that nobody knows about I have and I eat 3! Yes 3 cookies to myself!!

I don’t change the toilet paper roll and leave it on the back of the toilet just because I can. Muwahahaha I’m on a roll.

I don’t answer the telephone. (it’s never for me anyhow)

I create this fantasy that I am 25 again with nobody relying on me. I am single, I am hot, I am rich, I have no worries…I I I I’m a QUEEN! I’m a Dancing Queen. I can dance. I can jive. I’m having the time of my life.

And then a few hours go by and I miss my boys. Then I feel guilty for having too much fun alone time.

Then they come home and shortly thereafter I find myself mentioning to my husband ideas about taking all the boys on a fishing trip or something similar. *winks*


C.J Duggan said...

Nwaah...what a gorgeous post! I was grinning the WHOLE way through totally envisioning your day (even the rocking out to Abba part) I totally get this! Empty coke bottle in the fridge you rebel ha-ha...I am SO glad you did a Guilty post so witty and charming I will ensure to plug it in my networking sites. Thanks Michelle! You write beautifully!

Julie said...

Oh, Michelle. You crack me up! I have far too many guilty pleasures to list. One of my favourites is putting an empty milk bag back into the fridge. Drinking straight out of the milk bag. Reading smut. Double dipping chips, veggies, or anything else dippable. Reading smut. I'll confess; I tend to take rather lengthy showers too. Reading smut. Um . . . and reading smut. :D

Anonymous said...

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Margaret said...

Fabulous! Just like you. You are a dancing queen and always will be!

P.S. I share that particular guilty pleasure, but I'm always happy when my chicks come home to roost.

Anonymous said...

That is an awesome guilty pleasure.. something I also indulge in from time to time:-) Great post.

Here's my Guilty Pleasure: